How I Quit Facebook and Became the Queen of the Universe

Okay, one part of the above eyecatching title is true. I did quit Facebook, but my application to becoming the Queen of the Universe is still under process (apparently I have a very strong contender from Planet Xylos, but hey I can juggle, so obviously I am going to win hands down, no worries). I realized that I quit FB exactly one year back. And life has been a joyride since then. I have absolutely zero panic attacks, the number of days I have sunk into depression last year reduced to 364, and I am having the time of my life. My self-confidence levels have boosted to record levels due to the lack of

1. Photographs of people whom you hate having the time of their lives in a developed country with clean roads and automatic ticket counters.

2. “It is so cold in New York” posts from people whom you thought would never cross the Chennai border.

3. “Plane to Mexico late by an hour. Waiting in five-star lounge at airport :/” posts from members of the above category.

4. Posts that specifically hints at what an unhappening life you live, and how they are totalling zonking out in the Carribean, whale-fishing.

5. Your ex-crush’s wedding photos.

6. Updates from your beautiful-cousin-who-has-a-dream-job-and-whom-you-totally-hate-coz-she-is-not-a-nice-person on how she hates her job.

Seriously. I am so freaking happy, I’d hug you if you were here. I still weigh the same, no change on that, but I get so much free time from not being logged on Facebook and watching other people’s fake lives unfold in front of my screen, I do so many more activities like staring at the ceiling and watching awesome shows like  Keeping up with the Kardashians and Keeping up with “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

Oh I could go on and on and on.


7 thoughts on “How I Quit Facebook and Became the Queen of the Universe

  1. I have actually slightly increased my use of Facebook over the past few months, but that’s largely because I have linked my WordPress account to it. And my usage of it previously was practically zero.

    It still amazes me how people will post such boring and inane drivel though. No-one cares if you are bored in work and have just eaten a packet of salt and vinegar crisps.

    Well done on seeing the light though. I have never heard of the Chennai border before but I understood the sentiment and I found it rather amusing.

  2. Not to mention the always frustrating possibility of stalking your ex boyfriend who is now the CEO of an important european company.
    This killing sense of humour of yours… By any chance ‘habemus’ twitter? 🙂

    • Wow, you just made me learn a new word: habemus. Nope I am not on twitter. I always exceeded the word limit so got chucked out one fine day:(
      P.S. You do mean the habemus from “habemus papam” right? If I misunderstood, blame Google search! 😉

      • You got it 😉
        It’s a shame you don’t use it, I would be following you right away!
        Now, i’m a little confused, turns out you’re this funny person that if I was asked about I’d say you’re related to arts and literature (just a guessing).. how did you end up in a programming course? D:

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