You are F******ked if

1. You experience shortness of breath and mild nausea if you don’t log in onto Facebook once every hour and update your status ripped from “100 funniest one-liners” website.

2. You constantly comment, on your own comments.

3. You have no clue on what Black Swan or Inception was about  (even after watching it once at theaters and twice on bootlegged copies circulating on the Internet)  but frequently enter into intellectual debates about the movies on Facebook just to show you are “in” with the rest of the (clueless) crowd.

4. You dream about selling your farmville property and retiring to the countryside (and tried twice to sell it on E-bay).

5.  You take pictures of your face at strange angles and force people to comment on how good you look.

6. All your major life-changing decisions (such as getting married or shifting to a new country) are taken by a majority “like” vote by your Facebook friends.

7.  You think you have a Facebook stalker who is living in your house in the basement.

8. The only chat with a human you had for the past 8.9 weeks was with a strange man from Anchorage who insisted he was your long-lost uncle. Rest of the time, you were busy uploading strange-angled profile pictures and ripped-from-website status updates

9. You sent money to your fake long-lost uncle thinking he really is your long-lost uncle even though you know you have no long-lost uncles loitering around in the Alaskan wilderness.

10. You cannot remember the last time you took care of your personal hygeine because you couldn’t tear your eyes off the computer screen for the fear of losing your sheep flock.

Oh boy, you have been Facebooked!


8 thoughts on “You are F******ked if

  1. Love it. I am about over FB….it annoys me. was actually adding it to my pet peeves list – of course I still have a profile or wall or whatever they call it these day and a page but it is only becasue I am afraid if I delete I might miss something big lol ol.
    Peace 🙂

  2. Good one… I was reading this, while rest of the family was glued to a serious melodrama movie and I started smiling and burst into laughter with your finishing line, all were looking at me with the question of “are you nuts..” in their eyes… 🙂

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