These will be the best days of your life!

An open letter to all the dudes who are entering the sacred gates of college hostel.

Maybe it s nostalgia, maybe it s the fact that I m plainly bored away from all my college friends,
whatever the reason is, I feel obliged to dish out some ‘gyaan’ to all those guys
n gals .i feel I m qualified enough to
give some ‘propah’ advice because I have successfully completed my college
education after battling through 4 years of man/woman made disasters like poor
gpa, extremely poor internals, horribly gone wrong practicals so on and so forth.

Now that I have succeeded in my mission of keeping you glued to this column
for so long, maybe it’s going to be a cakewalk for you in acing those demons
that come at the end of 6 months and threaten your utopia. That s because your
attention span will become horribly minuscule when you are in your second year
because, well let’s face it, who wants to learn about the a circuit diagram when
a ‘live wire’ is sitting next to you, absent mindedly polishing his/ her finger nails
sending sparks throughout your body? Well, let me not veer away from my topic.
So get ready for the gyaan..

1. First day of college will be disappointing for most of you guys. I m

sorry if I have discouraged you but that’s the truth. Face it, as much as
you pray, Sushmita Sen is NOT going to come and take engineering
chemistry class. It will be probably taught to you by a professor with few
hairs on his head who is still wondering why he chose this ungrateful
profession even after 35 years of service OR by a giggling lecturer who
has just passed out of this college who does not know the molecular
formula for water. You will most probably not be subjected to ragging
because of the strict rules.  You are not going to break down in front of the whole
college just because a senior asked your name, are you?. And the reason probably
would be that HIS senior would have ragged him into talking to you.
Give that poor guy a break instead of hauling him in front of the vice
chancellor’s office with your parents in tow!

2.  Try doing small things by yourself. Freedom is
not staying at hostel and sending S.O.S messages to your parents asking
them to courier you a new bottle of shampoo. It is nonchalantly taking
your room mates toiletry and making the best use of it.
3. Don t whine about how bad your hostel room looks. Remember great
engineers have passed through these walls. Literally. They have banged
their heads into these walls during exam fever and it still has stood the
time. You too will start banging your head and generations will follow
suit. So remember, earthquakes and nuclear wars will have no effect on
this building though on the outside, it looks like a cross between a a giant
troll’s leg and a world war 1 trench.
4. If you have entered the throes of a hostel, rest assured you will never
be fussy about food again. The fact that you will be served delicious
looking food (emphasis on ‘looking’) every day will make you pine for
your mother s cooking but ha! you never appreciated it in the first place
did you?? The phrase ‘looks deceive’ cannot be more appropriate. Enter
into the magical world of hostel food where milk tastes like hot water,
coffee tastes like tea and water tastes like well, water. You will develop
your biceps and triceps in lifting and breaking idlis into chunks. You will
realize the hidden meaning of “paper”dosas that was written on the menu
board with a flourish. Fried rice will taste like cardboard and noodles will
look like rava upma. But then, let me assure you one thing. After the first
few weeks you won t even bother to look at what you are eating in fear of
getting a cardiac arrest.

P.S The first few days will be the best food you will taste for 4 years in
hostel. For instance at our first dinner at hostel, we were served paneer
butter masala which tasted like rubber anyway. We never saw or heard of
the dish again in our mess.

5. First few weeks will always be difficult for hostelers. After all, you will

be away from home, in a room with strangers similarly crying their hearts
out in different languages to their parents back at home using ‘banned’
mobiles that is, if you ever got a signal. But then, soon you will realize
the beauty of friendship, the spirit of sharing toothpaste, the joy of
reading tattered books that your seniors have diligently passed through
without even opening them. You too will pass these books after reading
through the table of contents. Trust me, that far you will go.
6. Never judge a person by what he /she looks. A guy who looks like a nerd
might be your soul mate and a girl who looks like a million bucks will
be the most endearing person you might ever meet. Friendships will be
formed and broken throughout the course of your life in college but you
will always emerge wiser and grateful for the friends you have had in
7. Participate in as many auditions in college as possible. Sing even though
your voice resembles that of a rat stuck in a door, dance like no one s
watching and compete in debates even though you can utter one syllable
at a time which is most probable ‘err.. ’.Attend each and every event
in your campus. The results are two fold: one you will be a known
personality in campus (though not in a very favorable sense), two, you
will let go of all your inhibitions that has been holding you back all
these years. You will never ever get a chance like this in your future..
Remember that always.
8. Spend time in learning new things. Learn a new language . Sign up for
those guitar lessons that is being taught by the cutest guy in college. You
might have a chance of bowling over your crush with your strumming,
who knows!
9. Never regret. ‘I wish I had’ is one of the cruelest phrases in English
language. Make sure you will never have the opportunity to use this
phrase ever in your life while reminiscing your college days. Do it now!
10. And yes, the most important thing of all, try and wash your clothes once
every three weeks at least. You don t want people saying ‘hey there goes
the dude who was responsible for latest outbreak of dirticlothesistis in
college. Make a little use of the detergent your mom had so lovingly
packed for you. Water conservation can be done in many other ways.
11. This is my final gyaan .Though it is a borrowed one, I believe it best
sums up college life, and life in general

‘Enjoy as though it s your last day of your life, laugh as though you are a child and dance like

no one’s there. Most of all don t just exist, live…’


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